If you don’t know what “FOH” means, google it.
And now, without further adieu, I give my 2018 NFL All-FOH Team.
Anti-Kaepernick People: This is a big one. The narrative about NFL ratings declining has been obliterated by common sense. 16 Quarterbacks were signed during the regular season. Tom Savage 3 times by San Francisco alone. He may not be struggling to pay his bills, but y’all took away his ability to play football with your narrow-mindedness.
Dez Bryant: All that drama for that?
The Pittsburgh Steelers: All that legacy of winning crap doesn’t really amount to anything these days, does it? Le’veon Bell decides to bounce, Antonio Brown wants out. Big Ben is on the downward slope. Oh, and his defensive coordinator was gameplanning for a guy who was on IR for a win-or-go-home Week 17 game. It’s all about to get really ugly for head coach Mike Tomlin.
Antonio Brown: While we’re talking about the Steelers…
Anti-Baker People: Yes, the guy has an absolute chip on his shoulder. So what? Suck it up, buttercup. The guy talks and then slings it and doesn’t make excuses. He’s the best thing to happen to this league in a long time. I hope he kneels for the anthem just once to send the universe into chaos.
The Cincinnati Bengals: I know Dalton was hurt, but you finally agree to move on from Marvin Lewis and you interview Hue Jackson? I’m sorry, have you not been paying attention the last 3 years? I can’t take this franchise seriously at all, and if they end up actually hiring him- I’ll never.
Eric Ebron: For years I had this guy on my fantasy teams and for years he brought me nothing but misery. This year, I skip the need for additional drinking and he goes off.
Marcus Mariota: Sorry man, your plane is boarding.
Blake Bortles: See above.
Kareem Hunt: No explanation needed.
Aaron Rodgers: For the supposed GOAT, he was a little too Jay Cutler for me this year.
Matt Patricia: Bill Belichick’s shtick only works for Bill Belichick.
The Atlanta Falcons: You were in the Super Bowl 2 years ago?!? Now look at you! LOOK AT YOU!
Jameis Winston: You legitimately got outplayed by Ryan Fitzpatrick after you were suspended for acting like an ass. No time for that crap.
Josh Rosen: Jay Cutler 2.0. WRITE IT DOWN!
Josh McDaniels: This guy is seriously being considered for head coaching gigs while guys like Steve Wilks gets axed after one year?
Jon Gruden: You had better damned well know what you’re doing in the long run, because in the short run it makes no goddam sense.
Reuben Foster: Where there’s smoke there’s fire.